Restaurant: Fitzgerald’s

Critic: Lydia Klopfenstein

             Disclaimer: Don’t let the picture fool you, Mcdonald’s quarter pounders look better on camera too.

The restaurant scene in Uptown Charlotte, North Carolina hosts a variety of styles, flavors and creative cuisine. With so many long-lived, popular restaurants to choose from, it’s probably difficult to find a bad one out of the bunch, right? Wrong. And the worst part of this story is that this particular restaurant, a pub called Fitzgerald’s, was recommended to me by numerous locals as “consistently good.”

              Fitzgerald’s opened its doors in Uptown Charlotte in 2012, but I give it maybe five more years before it’s closed for good. It’s supposed to be an American tavern with an Irish twist, but nothing about it seemed Irish at all except for the tacky shamrock décor throughout the restaurant. My boyfriend Joey and I arrived to Fitzgerald’s around 3 p.m. so it was rather slow inside the restaurant. But slow business shouldn’t mean slow service, which is exactly what we got. As a server myself, I tip very well and I’m not a needy customer at all. But I almost had to be at this restaurant because our waitress enjoyed ignoring us even when it came time for the bill, but I’ll get to that part later.

We started our meal with an appetizer of fried pickles and ranch dipping sauce. The food runner brought them out within five minutes, but I was a bit skeptical at first glance because of their pale golden appearance. Fortunately, my eyes deceived me, and they were quite good, unlike the rest of the food that afternoon. Joey ordered a “fan favorite” barbecue burger and I ordered a buffalo cauliflower wrap because I love me some buffalo cauliflower. Once again, the food came out pretty quick, but our waitress had the food runner bring it to us instead. Food runners are great when it’s super busy, but I’m almost positive we were her only table, so it was rather disappointing that we had had more contact with the food runner than her at this point.

Now let’s dig into the main course. Was it better than the service? Absolutely. But was it super tasty? Not at all. Joey was rather disappointed with the overall flavor of his burger and once I took a bite to form my own opinion, I realized he wasn’t wrong. Don’t forget they advertise this burger as a “fan favorite,” which made it all the more disappointing. My entrée came with blue cheese crumbles, lettuce, tomato and onion in a green spinach wrap. The buffalo cauliflower was great. It had the perfect texture and just the right amount of spice. But the other ingredients were flavorless and dull. They didn’t add anything special to the dish. If anything, they made the buffalo cauliflower taste lifeless even though it was delicious on its own. Needless to say, I began picking the wrap apart just to enjoy the cauliflower.

Now it’s time for the major buzzkill of the afternoon spent at Fitzgerald’s – the fries. Joey and I both got them as part of our meals, and they were as bland as plain white rice. I hardly ever add salt to my food for various health reasons, but these fries were almost inedible without some kind of seasoning. I fucking loves fries in all forms, and they have always been a guilty pleasure of mine. I clear my plate when there are fires involved, but after a handful of these mushy cardboard sticks, I convinced myself I was full.

When it came time for the bill, I put my bright orange debit card at the edge of the table hoping it would signal our unattainable waitress, because who doesn’t wanna flip tables and get their tip? Apparently her. She must have walked past our table eight or nine times, and she even looked me dead in the face a couple times, but she refused to check on us for about 20 minutes or so. When she finally came to the table and asked us if we were ready for the check, I just wanted to scream, “DUH!” But of course I just smiled and said, “yes please.” She didn’t ask us if we wanted boxes, she didn’t suggest dessert or refills and she didn’t grab a single plate or utensil out of our way. But as soon as she came back with my debit card, she was nothing but smiley and thankful because she wanted that 20% tip. I never stiff anybody, but she did not get her 20% tip and that’s all I have left to say about it.

If you’re going to have mediocre food for not-so-cheap prices then you should atleast have good service, especially when it’s slow. Fitzgerald’s, I hope you can get your shit together because you’ve got a great beer list and dozens of flat screens. But so do most pubs. Only difference is they have better food and service, so what do you have left to offer besides tacky decor and free parking? Feel free to let me know, otherwise I won’t be returning.